Today i face another struggle in life...
The other day it was about my lovelife, today it's about my career.
I have been wandering why, i feel i am the worst person in this whole wide world. I feel like i dont work. I feel like i did not do something right. I feel un appreciated......
All these negative feelings, i feel right now. I could even taste it in my mouth... the bittersweet reality......
I dont like what is happening right now... I dont like my environment... I dont want to be happy,.. Yes i am compensated well... But i regret my transfer here... Not on monetary amount but on the relationship level...
I miss my previous job.. I miss the people there. I dont like it here, the competition is killing me. I dont even compete but they feel i am competing.....
I dont know, what is it in me that they felt that way,. I am aloof for personal reason... For the pains that i am keeping not that i am competing...
It is so hard... I am giving my all... giving my everything... giving my time... my whole being but why is it that it still lacking...
I wish God would give me my hearts wish.... i wanted so much to work in a NGO so that i could serve people.. I serve poeple here but i dont think they see it.. I felt they are trying to kill me..... What i do is not enought for them,.. Is this a punishment? I wanted so much to serve where no one is watching, no one is gauging what i have done.... I dont need appreciation and i also dont need judgement.....
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